Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
