Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
