I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
