remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
