you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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