You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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