you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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