I can tuck mytits in my pants
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
