some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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