Non-Jews are for practice
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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