Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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