I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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