just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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