you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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