It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
