My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
