i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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