if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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