ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
