You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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