I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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