Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
