I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
