I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
