Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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