My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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