I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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