I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
