just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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