I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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