so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize