Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
