I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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