Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
