it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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