Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
