what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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