ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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