So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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