did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you win again, gameday.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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