I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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