And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
