Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
