I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
