well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
