Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
