he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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