at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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