yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
