Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
